check your sugarcoat at the door


word play
March 22, 2011, 7:25 pm
Filed under: in the news

A hilarious Word Play article was forwarded by my lovely friend Jamie. To see them all, click the link. Some of my favorites:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject  
 financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.                     
                                                                            
 2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.                  
                                                                            
 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  
 realize it was your money to start with.                                                        
                                                                            
 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright  
 ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign 
 of breaking down in the near future.                                       
                                                                            
 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person  
 who doesn’t get it.                                                        
                                                                            
 13. Glibido : All talk and no action.                                      
                                                                            
 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve  
 accidentally walked through a spider web.                                  
                                                                            
As well as plays on common words:

1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.                            
                                                                            
 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has    
 gained.                                                                    
                                                                            
 4. Esplanade , v.. To attempt an explanation while drunk.                   
                                                                            
 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a  
 nightgown.                                                                 
                                                                            
 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.                                         
                                                                            
 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.                                 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
 13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.                              
                                                                            
 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

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